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In January, I was at Christopher Street (one of my favorite bars) one Saturday night; it is one of the better cruise bars (which is to say that there is no dancing). I was playing one of the video games when I noticed a very good-looking man across the room. I smiled at him, but didn't seem to get much reaction, although I thought he was the best-looking guy there. I have begun to develop a taste for men with neat beards, and his was certainly a nice one. I tried to get his attention a few times, but wasn't successful.

About an hour later, I was just sitting on one of the elevated benches in another part of the bar when the same guy came up to introduce himself- "Guy", his name was. I am continually amazed how meeting people works out. I can see someone I think is very attractive, and think to myself that he is so attractive that he wouldn't possibly be interested in me, only to find out soon after that indeed he did notice me. This has happened three or four times since I came out, and it is always good for my ego when it happens. I seem to have a low opinion of myself, and think that I am much worse-looking than I apparently seem to be to other men. Possibly, it is just a defense mechanism on my part so that I can avoid rejection. I certainly don't make a habit of walking up to good-looking men and starting a conversation, since I am always afraid that I will get put down. But the times I have tried, I haven't been rejected out of hand, so maybe I should try it more often.

Anyway, Guy and I talked for over two hours. He seemed very interested in what I did for a living, where I lived, and so on, and while he was open to talking about himself and his family, he seemed to be very secretive about what he did for a living. I was beginning to get a bit nervous about that, and thought that he might be doing something illegal or something, but he just didn't seem to be that type of man. In all other ways he was open and talkative. We spent the evening together, but I still didn't find out what he did. It wasn't until I saw him again for an evening a couple of weeks later that he felt secure enough to tell me his occupation- he is a Catholic priest.

I didn't find this shocking, as some might. Greg tells me that there is an abnormally high percentage of priests that are gay, but that almost all of them are also caring individuals, which makes them ideal candidates for their jobs. Guy specializes in working with the deaf at a parish about three miles North of me in the city. I found him to be kind, considerate and a lot of fun to be with, both physically and socially. We have become quite good friends. Actually, we are more than that- we are "dating."

This whole idea of gay "dating" is just like dating in the straight world. You find someone you like and you spend time with them. Physical contact may or may not be involved, depending on the relationship. Gay dating can be exclusive or not, just like straight dating. And, just like straight dating, gay dating may lead to a closer and closer relationship, although with gays this relationship cannot proceed to a legal marriage (except in a very few places). It may lead to sharing living arrangements and becoming exclusive, but that is as far as it goes. In a short time, I became very comfortable with Guy (I seem to do that easily), and we spent at least one day every weekend together.

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