June 17-26, 2005: A Visit With Greg in Palm Springs
May 18-19, 2005: Guy Blair Visits Dallas
Return to Index for 2005

June 3-6, 2005
My Sister Judy Visits Dallas


My sister Judy arrived on Friday, June 3rd, to visit with her Mother at the Bentley Manor. I was glad to see her, of course, but the primary purpose of her visit this weekend is to catch up with Mom and see how she is doing. Since Jeffie has moved with Michael to Atlanta, Mom and I are Judy's only relatives here now, so we enjoy all the opportunities we have for her to visit us here.

What we did outside of our visits with Mom was pretty mundane, and doesn't deserve much mention here. Judy stayed with me, of course, and Fred came down for the weekend to be here with us. We did a couple of movies, I think, and went out to eat, of course, but mostly our time was spent with Mom.

So for this album page, you won't find lots of maps and stuff like that, but mainly just pictures and movies of Judy visiting with her mother. And the simplest thing to do is to organize them by day, and so that's what I will do.


Friday, June 3

I had arranged for an early morning flight for Judy, and so she arrived in Dallas in plenty of time for us to go to the Bentley Manor to visit Mom for lunch.

We got to the Bentley Manor around eleven, and went directly to Mom's apartment. There, we found that Mom was just putting the finishing touches on her outfit for the day, and Judy helped her pick out some earrings. Then we all sat down and Judy and her Mother had a chance to sit down and have a chat (or as much of a chat as you can have with Mom these days).

This was Judy's first chance to talk with her mom in about a year, and so she had to get used to somewhat less coherence than the last time she was here. You can eavesdrop on a couple of snatches of their conversation using the two movie players below:

A little before twelve, Judy pushed Mom in her wheelchair down the hall to the dining room, and got her situated at her table; you can watch her do so with the left-hand movie player below. Mom sits at a table with three other ladies, so Judy pulled a chair over to sit between Mom and one of the other ladies. Each day, there is a menu card placed on the table, but since Mom can't read anymore, Judy read the menu for Mom and helped her decide which of the entrees she would have for lunch. You can watch her do so with the right-hand movie player below:

We had gotten to the dining room before serving began, so after deciding on the menu, Judy and Mom just waited for a while. Below are thumbnails for a couple of pictures of Judy and Mom at the table in the dining room; to look at the full-size images, just click on these thumbnails:

A few minutes after twelve, the servers come by with salads. Mom always has Jell-O, and today is no exception. As the ladies ate their salads, Judy chatted with Mom. For much of the meal, I left Judy alone with Mom and just went out to the lobby to sit down. I didn't want to crowd the table, and I didn't want to influence Judy in her assessment of how Mom was doing. Before I left, though, I did want to take one movie of Judy and Mom at lunch, and you can watch that movie with the player at left.

I returned at the end of the meal. The other ladies had all gone back to their rooms or to some other activity, and Judy and Mom were by themselves, so I took one more movie of Judy and Mom after lunch, a movie you can watch with the player at right.

Judy got Mom back to her room, and we stayed a while longer to give them a chance to visit. We left about two-thirty, went back to my house and got Judy situated in the guest room. Judy and I went back up to the Bentley Manor late in the afternoon so Judy could see what the dinner service was like, but I didn't take any pictures then.

By the time we got home, Fred had arrived, and the three of us went out to have dinner ourselves.


Saturday, June 4

On Saturday, we came again to have lunch with Mom. This time, Fred was with us. Prior to going to lunch, we spent some time with Mom in her apartment, where Judy was asking me about her medications. I took a movie while we were doing this, and you can watch it with the player at left. Judy has a friend who has been a nurse for many years, and wanted to compare the things that Mom was taking with those that Sandy, the nurse, thought appropriate. In the end, I had to send Judy a copy of the list of stuff that Mom takes.

We went on down to lunch, where Judy again sat with her Mother while Mom ate and tried to converse a bit. I made a movie of them and you can watch it with the player below. The other ladies at the table talk a fair amount, so oftentimes we were listening to one of them.

Judy stayed with Mom for a while after lunch, while Fred read his book and I listened in. Then we went to get our own lunch. It was back once again at dinner where we got Mom situated and then went off on our own.


Sunday, June 5

Today it's lunch with Mom again, although, being Sunday, we got there a little earlier and stayed a little longer. Today, all the pictures I took were before lunch. Judy took Mom down to the dining room early. We ran into one of the servers and some of the other ladies that generally sit in the lobby at the Bentley rather than stay in their rooms as Mom usually does. Judy chatted with Mom and the server (you can watch them with the movie player at left) in the hallway off the dining room. Just before it was time to go to the table, I took a picture of Judy and her Mother.


Monday, June 6

Today is Judy's last day here. Fred has left for work this morning, and my sister and I have gone to the Bentley Manor to have one last meal with our Mother. As usual, we spent some time with Mom in her apartment, but we don't really converse much; Mom's speech and choice of words make that difficult. But Judy did get to just be with her Mother for quite some time. Then it was down to the dining room.

Today we got a table by ourselves, over in the corner by the window. I thought that would be a good idea so that Judy and Mom could spend time just with each other, without the distraction of the other ladies at the table. Here is a picture of Judy and her Mother.

I made a couple of movies of them conversing before lunch, and you can watch those movies with the two players below. It was a very pleasant meal, the best one, I think, for Judy and Mom.

When the meal was over, Judy did the honors of chauffeuring Mom back to her apartment, and you can watch movies of them zipping along the hallways using the two movie players below:

Back in the room, it got a little tearful, as Judy said goodbye to Mom. I wanted to film them, and did so, and you can watch the two of them with the player at right.

I got one more good picture of Judy and her Mother.

I gave them some space to say goodbye, and then I took a subdued Judy out to the airport. Judy can see what I can see, that Mom's mental acuity has declined steadily over the last year or two. While she is physically OK for a woman of her age, it is very hard for her to communicate or, I think, get much joy out of life- much of that due to her failed eyesight. But she keeps on ticking, much like the Energizer bunny. I would like to keep her around for a long time, but I just don't think it is any fun for her.

At the airport, I said my goodbyes to Judy, thanked her for her visit (and of course told her to come back soon and often) and then stuck around as she went through security. This was my last movie of her this visit, and you can watch it with the player at left.

I was very glad of her visit but, as usual, wished it could have been longer.

NOTE: While Judy was here, I took some additional pictures that didn't relate specifically to Judy's being here- just pictures or movies of Mom or myself. I have put these additional pictures and movies on an album page devoted exclusively to my Mom during 2005. This page is accessible using the link "Olga Dougherty - 2005" under the heading "Special Album Pages for 2005" on the Index page for 2005.

June 17-26, 2005: A Visit With Greg in Palm Springs
May 18-19, 2005: Guy Blair Visits Dallas
Return to Index for 2005